I try hard to put on a happy face. Most days I am happy. Truth is-I have used Instagram as a way to escape my life. It is such a pretty place, Instagram. Filled with beautiful people and places. Getting lost in instagram fills me with hope sometimes, so I go there…to instagram-land.
I love my family so much, so let me explain. A couple of years ago we made a move from Atlanta to VA, just outside Washington DC for my husbands job. We left behind a lot. We started our family in Atlanta, our first and second girls were born there. We had an adorable home and really wonderful friends that filled me always. We could walk so many places and my boutique was 1 mile away from my home. The weather was Warmer and the sun shone alot. We loved our church (Andy Stanley was our pastor) southern food….I could go on for days.
Every day I would get dressed up. I co-owned a boutique and I needed to look the part for my customers. I would have buying meetings with vendors and go to New York for my big buying trips. I had a part time nanny which was SO nice (super helpful). I went to work, the gym, and then I went out a couple nights a week out with Girlfriends, my husband and other couples. I LOVED my life.
Then came the move. IT was inevitable. The lease was running out on my boutique in a few months and my husband had been offered a Vice President position with a small business. I was so worried about moving because everything was so comfortable in Atlanta. BUT we made the move. And let me tell you, since then…I have been clinging to our old life.
I started my blog as a way to preserve the woman I had become. I was afraid I would loose her if I did not do something. What I love is Style, Community, and Fun (all things about Instagram). I don’t mind being behind the camera and I love LOVE getting dressed up. I thought, I should do this blog thing because why not? Well it has definitely been a challenge, and SO tough. There has been such little reward. I struggle with being real you guys. Because to me, the gram is not. So I Choose to pretend…and here I am. Mom of three, Most days covered in throw up. I forget to brush my teeth….alot. My house is a mess. My head spins with all that I need to get done and I barely accomplish half of my list each day.
You see, I struggle with being a mom sometimes. IT IS so hard. AND not glamorous. Most days, are not great…most days I want to just forget the old me because it makes me so sad when I think about her.
So now what? I need some life direction! Should I Quit the gram OR fake the funk? I wonder if I should be done with Instagram because there is very little return on this blog y’all. I mean, its almost pennies. Sometimes I wonder if I should rebrand? I have a good name that would encompass more mommy stuff…Because though the leopard coat is such a part of my fashion journey, truth is right now, I am just a mom y’all.
Thanks for taking the time to read, I would love some honest talk and feedback!